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Know when to hold ‘em know when to fold ‘em
We have probably all heard the hook of Kenny Roger’s Gambler. We also know someone who lacks the knowledge or the insight in knowing just when to hold on to a relationship that is deceased and refusing the fold ‘em, cut your losses, walk away leaving the chips on the table and moving on.
How many times have we sat and listened to the stories, the excuses and the denial. Hmmmm better yet, how many times have we told stories, made up excuses and refused to face reality. Too many to count? Exactly!!!
With the passing of the universal celebration of love day, February 14, many people wake up in that haze called a relationship on the 15th. Many disappointed because the roses and wine and chocolate received on the 14th really hadn’t done much to improve the mundane existence that has now become norm in this rotting carcass that was once a blossoming and thriving relationship which after the scent of the roses faded started rotting at 12:01 on February 15th and will likely continue until February 14th of next year with a few exceptions such as birthdays, hopefully and Christmas.
Refusing to realize that a relationship is dead can not only be detrimental to your mental health but can adversely affect your physical health. Yes folks, being in love with your mate can literally kill you and they don’t have to have a loaded gun or give you an STD to do it.
Some of the reasons we remain in unhealthy relationships:
Laziness: Often times people become complacent in unhealthy relationships, refusing to leave, hoping things will get better. Realistically, they will not. If things were going to get better they would have gotten better after the first conversation, not argument but conversation. The wrong doer would have recognized their fault and apologized and addressed them. If, however, their actions spur an argument chances are their behavior has been a repeated one and they are too self-centered to care about their partner’s feelings.
Children: Children will make it better. Those cute lil angels will make matters only worse because you are now not only stuck by your stupidity and weakness but now you have brought innocent people into the world and are forcing them to co-exist in that same unhappiness as you. The difference is you had a choice, they, on the other hand weren’t so lucky. Children live what they learn. You are only producing individuals who will grow up to accept your acceptance of dysfunction as being the norm and upon adulthood you will then unleash them unto some unsuspecting young woman or man. Isn’t that a little selfish on your part.
We hear it every day, “Oh I’m staying for the children”. Little Tommy is 2 mths old, Amy is 7 and Jessie is 10, now tell me when did they tell you they wanted to start everyday in a house filled with tension and how did Tommy get created if you were so unhappy?
Finances: “Oh I can’t afford to leave right now”. This is the classic one. The last people on earth who had to buy their freedom were slaves. There’s really nothing more to say, is there?
Social Acceptance: “Oh all my friends are in relationships”. All your friends are happy and you are not. That’s the reality
Co-dependency: People who fall into this category really don’t care about the person they are with they just need companionship, therefore, I have crafted a brilliant solution for this problem. Get a dog or cat. What good is having a mate who will resent you eventually, to the point where it pains them to cuddle with you, conversation at the dinner table is virtually non existent, appreciation for your very existence is no where near present within your life, they feel trapped because you need them. However, all the above can be attained from a pet and they are cheaper.
The lesson here, get out, go out be happy you live once
<span style="font-size: 8pt">posted with permission from author</span>
We have probably all heard the hook of Kenny Roger’s Gambler. We also know someone who lacks the knowledge or the insight in knowing just when to hold on to a relationship that is deceased and refusing the fold ‘em, cut your losses, walk away leaving the chips on the table and moving on.
How many times have we sat and listened to the stories, the excuses and the denial. Hmmmm better yet, how many times have we told stories, made up excuses and refused to face reality. Too many to count? Exactly!!!
With the passing of the universal celebration of love day, February 14, many people wake up in that haze called a relationship on the 15th. Many disappointed because the roses and wine and chocolate received on the 14th really hadn’t done much to improve the mundane existence that has now become norm in this rotting carcass that was once a blossoming and thriving relationship which after the scent of the roses faded started rotting at 12:01 on February 15th and will likely continue until February 14th of next year with a few exceptions such as birthdays, hopefully and Christmas.
Refusing to realize that a relationship is dead can not only be detrimental to your mental health but can adversely affect your physical health. Yes folks, being in love with your mate can literally kill you and they don’t have to have a loaded gun or give you an STD to do it.
Some of the reasons we remain in unhealthy relationships:
Laziness: Often times people become complacent in unhealthy relationships, refusing to leave, hoping things will get better. Realistically, they will not. If things were going to get better they would have gotten better after the first conversation, not argument but conversation. The wrong doer would have recognized their fault and apologized and addressed them. If, however, their actions spur an argument chances are their behavior has been a repeated one and they are too self-centered to care about their partner’s feelings.
Children: Children will make it better. Those cute lil angels will make matters only worse because you are now not only stuck by your stupidity and weakness but now you have brought innocent people into the world and are forcing them to co-exist in that same unhappiness as you. The difference is you had a choice, they, on the other hand weren’t so lucky. Children live what they learn. You are only producing individuals who will grow up to accept your acceptance of dysfunction as being the norm and upon adulthood you will then unleash them unto some unsuspecting young woman or man. Isn’t that a little selfish on your part.
We hear it every day, “Oh I’m staying for the children”. Little Tommy is 2 mths old, Amy is 7 and Jessie is 10, now tell me when did they tell you they wanted to start everyday in a house filled with tension and how did Tommy get created if you were so unhappy?
Finances: “Oh I can’t afford to leave right now”. This is the classic one. The last people on earth who had to buy their freedom were slaves. There’s really nothing more to say, is there?
Social Acceptance: “Oh all my friends are in relationships”. All your friends are happy and you are not. That’s the reality
Co-dependency: People who fall into this category really don’t care about the person they are with they just need companionship, therefore, I have crafted a brilliant solution for this problem. Get a dog or cat. What good is having a mate who will resent you eventually, to the point where it pains them to cuddle with you, conversation at the dinner table is virtually non existent, appreciation for your very existence is no where near present within your life, they feel trapped because you need them. However, all the above can be attained from a pet and they are cheaper.
The lesson here, get out, go out be happy you live once
<span style="font-size: 8pt">posted with permission from author</span>